Everyone is a liar

Repeatedly making same mistake

Expecting different outcome

When life is no longer about you 

You have children

You cannot be selfish

You must be whole 

You must be okay all the time

...

Life has not been kind to me lately 

Trust has been broken 

Irreparable mistake

Figuring out way to get out from this vicious cycle 

Stuck

Trapped 

Lost 

No way to go 

Want to go back where innocence was bliss

Because 

Now I don't trust anyone 

One more mistake will cost this whole thing 

Just one reason is enough to let go

A brand new beginning

 2021

Too many things had happened

 

Let's do some recap

Oct 2017 - graduated from medical school

Oct 2018 - Started housemanship at HSB

2 July 2020 - Got married 

Dec 2020 - started floating medical at HSB

Feb 2021 - placement at Hospital Jitra

27 April 2021 - delivered a baby boy 

April 2021 - August 2021 : Maternity leave

 

Alhamdulillah, 

Everything happened according to Allah's plan

Some things were unpredictable but worth to be grateful for

 

Entering motherhood was not an easy road

Some days were okay, some days were difficult

The tiredness and anxiousness might taking away my sanity 

Planning to take MRCP after the maternity leave might seems impossible but actually do-able 

 

So these are the ways to keep my sanity throughout this never-ending journey 

 

1. Get an adequate sleep

- Not too long, not too short,

Just sufficient enough to revive my energy

 

2. Allocate a “me-time”

- Anytime of the day, preferable fixed at an appointed time

 

3. Don’t procrastinate

- When you feel like doing it at the very moment, just do it (especially washing dishes :P)

 

4. Crying is not a crime

- You may cry your lungs out, and when you are done, resume you responsibility

 

5. Ask for help

- You might want to act all tough, but trust me, don’t get stuck on your own

 

6. Be responsible

- This child is a responsibility you swear to take care of

 

7. Do one thing at a time

- There are so many things to be done, just do something that messed up your mind the most

- Do a list of priority

 

8. Study one topic a day

- One is better than none

 

9. Give reward to yourself accordingly

 

10. Avoid getting carried away with petty things

- Talk to your partner about things you dislike although sometimes it will lead to unfavourable circumstances

- Don’t go to sleep with anger

- Forgive is way easy than fighting (lesser time consumed as well)

 

11. Eat healthily

 

12. Most important of all - Always pray to Allah to ease your journey

Till next time. 

 

 

When something is not worth to say or to share, just keep it to yourself. You won’t hurt anyone.
It is always better that way.

Whatever happen, just don’t give up on me.

The last thing I ever want to be to anyone is a burden. 

I’d rather get out of someone’s life than staying being a nuisance.